I'm Having the Goblin King's Baby!
by Arysta
Summary: Sarah goes on the Jeri Spencer show to confront Jareth with his imminent paternity. Rating for references.


Labyrinth: The Jeri Spencer Show

Author's Note:   
This is the result of a challenge posted to the fanfiction.net Labyrinth board; one so old I don't know the poster anymore. The characterization, I am aware, may not be completely accurate at all places, but part of the challenge was that both Sarah and Jareth had to act, for want of a better term, like trailer trash. I found at the end that I couldn't quite get away from my desire for happy endings. I hope someone enjoys this story, and please, if you read it, let me know what you think by reviewing! I Love reviews! I don't own the Labyrinth, or anything else. Standard disclaimers apply. Read on and enjoy!

I'm having the Goblin King's Baby   
(Today on the Jeri Spencer Show)  
by ACJ Leveille

Sarah Williams sat in her trailer, watching the fifteen-inch color television intently. On the screen people were yelling and screaming. Muscled guards barged onto the stage and grabbed the chubby "I'm taking your man and there's nothing you can do about it," guest and hauled her away from the woman she had launched herself at. Sarah was enthralled. Watching Jeri was much better than thinking about her pathetic, soon-to-be mangled life.

"Why do you watch that crap?" Angelique asked from behind her. Sarah glanced. Her friend popped a grape in her mouth, washing it down with a sip of warm cola.

"It's not crap," Sarah protested, gesturing at the television, where Jeri Spencer had stepped forward to wrap up. "I'd love to be on her show!"

Angelique spit into the sink. "Why don't you call?" She walked over, shoving her feet into the heels she had discarded the night before. "I'm sure you'd qualify."

Sarah whipped around. "What are you talking about?"

The thin blonde girl smiled cattily. "I've seen your night-only man, girl. I'm not blind. There has to be something there." Another sly smile and she stepped out of the trailer, slamming the thin aluminum door behind her.

"Bitch." Sarah muttered, turning back to the screen. It was running it "calls" for guests. "Are you pregnant? Does the father of your baby say it's not his? Call Jeri and come on her show to tell your story!" The female voice rattled off a line of numbers, then repeated them. They blinked at the bottom of the screen.

"Whoa." Sarah said, sitting back against the sofa. "This has got to be a sign." In a flurry, she grabbed and pen and paper and scratched down the number.

She flicked off the TV, rubbing a finger over the hastily drawn numbers. "Jeri Spencer, here I come!" She lifted the dirty red telephone receiver and began to dial.

  
  


"This is your room," the tall, well-dressed woman announced, flinging open the door.

Sarah sat back, mouth dropping open. "Awesome," she murmured. She slipped in, circling around the suite. A fruit basket (compliments of the Jeri Spencer show), a huge bed, even a Jacuzzi. "This'll be great," she said.

"Good. Dinner is at seven in the restaurant downstairs, and filming starts at eight tomorrow. Someone will pick you up in the morning. Besides that, enjoy!" Flinging a long braid of black hair over her shoulder, the woman disappeared.

Sarah plunked herself down on the bed, looking around. "This is seriously cool," she half-shrieked, and began to strip. She flipped on the spigots to the bath and watched as the huge tub filled. "Friggin' awesome!"

Once it was full, she slid into the water. After a bit, tiredness and first trimester sleepiness overwhelmed her and she found her eyes closing by themselves.

"What do you think you are doing?" A cold voice bit out over her shoulder, startling her awake. "How did you get here?" She shivered at the deceptively silky voice, then bristled.

"What do you care?" She asked, splashing water over her bobbing breasts. They had gotten bigger recently, further testimony in her favor.

"I was trying to find you." He said, stepping onto the faux-marble edge of the bath. "How did you get here?" He frowned.

"I flew," she said, closing her eyes again and leaning back.

"I didn't know humans could fly."

Sarah laughed, a loud, brassy cough of humor.

"Hmmpf." He sounded offended. "I see. You rode in that winged silver bird you humans created. Why?"

"Go away, Jareth," she said. "I don't have to tell you anything. You don't own me."

He was silent for a moment, and she heard the wind swishing near her head. He had brought his crop. She wiggled in the tub, forcing pleasurable memories out of her head. Finally, he spoke. "I will find out." He assured her.

Sarah opened her eyes long enough to see him blink out of existence. "You sure will," she said with a smile.

  
  


"Everything is ready for tomorrow." Elizabeth Blake informed her. That was the woman's name, she had learned.

"Good," Sarah said, taking another long gulp of cola. She stuffed two fries in her mouth, wishing she had gotten two burgers.

"We tried to talk to your Jareth, but couldn't find him." The woman looked up at her with dark-as-night eyes. "You assured my boss that you would be able to get him to the show," she started.

"Don't worry, he'll be there." Sarah waved the concern off. "I can make Jareth come to me any time I want to." She smiled, ignoring Ms. Blake's frown and lightly caressed the horned amulet he had given her.

"Now, what did you say he was, again?" Ms. Blake asked.

Sarah looked up, eyes narrowing to slits. "I didn't."

Ms. Blake cleared her throat, looking almost ill. "Is he in an… illegal.. business?" She asked in a low voice, eyes very wide.

Sarah wanted to laugh. "Nah," she assured the woman, trying to be nice. "He's not into drugs or anything."

"Oh, whew." The woman wiped her brow. "You scared me there for a second," she confessed with a friendly smile.

"He's the King of the Goblins," Sarah announced triumphantly.

Ms. Blake's mouth fell, she started to stutter. "What?" She finally managed to get out.

Sarah repeated herself.

"The father of your baby is a mental patient?" She wailed.

Sarah smiled, and reached over to pat the woman's hand. "Don't get your panties in an uproar," she soothed. "My man's not a sicko."

Ms. Blake watched her with suddenly guarded eyes.

Sarah guessed her thoughts, and snarled. "I'm not a sicko, either." She munched the last fry and stood up, stalking out of the restaurant. "She'll see," she muttered, jabbing the call button on the elevator, "and she'll get the best ratings ever!"

  
  


"Rob, I think we may have a problem." Elizabeth Blake said as soon as the phone was picked up.

"Elizabeth?" The man sounded foggy. She looked at her watch. Eight-thirty. "What are you talking about?"

"Sir," she said, shifting on her two-inch heels. "I was talking to Sarah Williams, our second guest for tomorrow. Pregnant and fatherless, remember?"

"So?" Rob Pearson barked, impatient.

"The father isn't here." She untwisted the phone cord from around her wrist.

Elizabeth waited. "Wasn't Williams the one who said she'd handle bringing her boyfriend to the show?" He asked.

"Yes, yes," she stuttered, "I know, but…"

"But what, Blake? I don't like phone calls to my home, especially if they're about nothing."

"She said the father of her baby is the Goblin King." She spat out, biting her lip and clutching the phone.

Ominous silence. "Who screened this woman?" Rob asked very quietly. Too quietly.

"I think Nathan Riechman did, sir." She said, glad that she had given him the assignment this time.

"The new guy."

"Yes, sir."

"I'll talk to him." Mr. Pearson promised.

Elizabeth, stunned, looked at the phone. "What about Ms. William's conviction that her baby's father is coming to the show?" She asked. "That he's the…" she looked around to make sure that no one could hear her. "The Goblin King?"

"Well," Rob started in a hearty voice. "She'll hardly be the first woman to get stood up. Good night, Ms. Blake." The phone crashed down, leaving Elizabeth Blake staring, open mouthed, at a dirty wall.

"Oh my."

  
  


Sarah walked into filming studio seven, prepared to be awed. They rushed her through the armed guards at the doorway and into makeup. She was poked, prodded, and teased to within an inch of her life. They let her keep the clothes she had been wearing.

At eleven o'clock they took her to a small office and told her to sit and wait, that Mr. Pearson would be with her shortly. She sat obediently. They closed the door.

She looked around the room. There were stacks of paper everywhere, and pictures of tropical beaches on the walls. The door opened. A tall man walked in. He was dressed in casual pants and a golf shirt. He shook her hand absently, while reading a piece of paper.

"What's going on?" Sarah asked after he sat down and rolled his chair up to the desk that dominated the room. "When do I get to meet Jeri?"

The man looked up. "Ms. Williams, I'm sorry," he smiled. He was cute, she realized. "We just realized that your file is incomplete."

"Incomplete?" Sarah echoed.

"My… assistant… neglected to get the name of your baby's father, his location, that sort of thing." He looked at the paper - her file, of sorts - and then at her. "I know this is very last minute, but you must know, the man has not arrived."

"Of course not." She said, laughing at the man's expression. "I explained to that guy who called me, I'll have to call him. He said that was fine." She said.

"Yes, I know that…" Mr. Pearson started.

"Look, he said that was fine. I told him that you guys wouldn't be able to get a hold of him! You can't back out of this now, I came all this way and I want to see Jeri!" Her voice escalated to a screeching whine.

"Relax, Miss Williams," he said, "You'll see Jeri!"

Relieved, Sarah relaxed into her seat, tugging her skirt down around her legs. Mr. Pearson sank back into his own seat.

"So," he began, hands folded in front of him. "How are we going to handle this? Will you be able to handle it if we bring an actor in to take his place? I have a Mr. Conner outside who is willing to take Mr. King's place."

She couldn't believe it. They just didn't understand. "Mr. Pearson, really, he'll be there. I just have to call him. He'll be here immediately."

He blinked, then reached over and twisted the phone toward her. "Okay then. Call him."

She pushed the phone away. "Not like that," she said with contempt. "I just… call him."

"So do it."

"Not now." She said. "I'll do it when we're on stage."

"Usually, we screen all our guests, even the men they invite. In cases like this, its especially important to meet the guest when we take the blood sample for the paternity test."

"Hey!" Sarah started forward, anger boiling. "I got blood and hair for you, just like you said!"

"Yes, I know," the man said calmly, "but we generally take care of that ourselves, to ensure authenticity, if you know what I mean."

"Are you saying you don't trust me?" Sarah saw his eyes flicker. "I know it sounds crazy, like my baby was fathered by aliens or something, but it's true! I swear it!"

He was silent, watching her. After a time, he sighed. "The man waiting outside will take you to the waiting room. You can eat the fruit and chocolate there, watch television, talk to the other guests, read magazines, whatever, until you are called. Thank you for calling us, Ms. Williams." He shook her hand one more time.

Standing, tugging her skirt down on her thighs, Sarah smiled frostily. "Thank you for letting me have a chance to see Jeri." She turned, and stalked out of the room, shutting the door after her.

The man waiting was short, dressed in a manner similar to Mr. Pearson. He took her to the room and left her there.

  
  


"And now we have Sarah Williams," Jeri Spencer announced, a riotous wave of applause sounding as she spoke. Sarah, watching from the wings, smiled nervously at the crowd's fervor. "She is two months pregnant and her lover, like Mr. Halloway here, refuses to believe that the baby is his." The room echoed with the boos that followed. "She's here today to learn the results of the paternity test that we had done."

The producer gave Sarah a slight push, and she teetered a second, then strode smoothly onto the stage. She was blushing a bit, but made it to the chair without incident.

"Miss Williams," Jeri started, her bobbed red hair swinging as she walked around in front of the stage. Sarah, now this close to her, was stunned to realize how old the woman was.

"Uh, yes," she stuttered. "Hi, Jeri! It's so nice to be here!"

"It's nice to have you, my dear!" The older woman said, toying with the mike in her hands. "How did this start, my dear?" She asked.

"Well," Sarah began, then went on to explain how their five year affair, begun three and a half years after her trip through his kingdom, when she was nineteen, had resulted in the child she now carried. She was careful to leave out the Labyrinth. She knew she had plenty of time to prove his otherworldly origin.

"And Mr. King says that the baby cannot be his?" Jeri asked.

Sarah placed a protective hand on her stomach, over the small life that was growing there. She thought about how she had informed him of his impending fatherhood, and his haughty response. "He actually said that it was physically impossible and that I was lying through my teeth," she said with a bitter smile. Clucks and other assorted sympathy noises came from the crowd.

"Now," she addressed the audience, "be assured, we have given Miss Williams a pregnancy test. She is indeed pregnant. I'll take some questions from the audience, now."

She held out the mike to a young girl who was close to jumping out of her seat. The girl grabbed it. "Girlfriend, I been there! I hope you kicked his sorry ass out of your life!"

Jeri wrestled the mike from her grip. "Sarah, I understand you're still seeing this man," she said.

Sarah nodded her head. "He still visits me, but we can't do as much now that I'm…"

"Pregnant," Jeri finished for her. Sarah nodded in agreement.

The mike was handed to an older man. "If you need help, I'm more than willing to…" The mike was yanked from him, and Jeri gave him a very convincing scowl.

"I think we're ready to meet this boyfriend of hers, don't you?" She asked the crowd. Wild cheers echoed in the studio. "Now, Sarah here has said she will call him and he'll be right here, so we're going to have to be patient." She looked skeptical herself, Sarah noticed. Aww, it didn't matter, she told herself, they'd see soon enough. "We've provided Miss Williams with a phone," Jeri motioned, and a man came out. He was carrying the hand part of a cordless phone. "and she'll now call him, so we can all hear."

Sarah sat forward, clearing her throat. No one understood. "Uh, it doesn't work that way," she said.

Jeri came forward, eyes darkening in anger. The expression on her face made Sarah swallow very slowly. "What?"

"Um… I'll just call him, all right?" Sarah said, almost meekly.

Jeri nodded.

Sarah stood, but didn't reach for the phone the man still held toward her. With one hand touching the amulet, she closed her eyes and called out. "Goblin King, Goblin King, I wish you were here with me."

  
  


Nothing happened. Silence surrounded the small stage. All of the guests were looking at each other. Jeri's eyes were wide with almost fearful understanding.

"Just a minute," Sarah stammered out, feeling her face grow red and hot. I'm going to kill him, she thought to herself. "He'll be here."

There was a brief noise from the side of the stage, so low that she doubted even Jeri heard it, as close to the stage as she was. A man appeared on the side. He was of average height, and wearing jeans and an old, many-times-washed T-shirt. He had a mustache. Sarah knew this was the actor that Mr. Pearson had talked about.

She clenched her fist, fury coursing through her body. "Jareth!" She screamed, putting her anger into the cry.

The lights flickered. Not much, just a little. "You called?" His crisp voice drawled from the chair next to hers.

Sarah rounded on him, hands on her hips. "You louse!" She screamed. "You scared me."

He lounged, unconcerned, and laid his legs over the arm of the chair. "It's nice to see you too, dear." He said. She looked at him. He was wearing a pair of black tights and a flowing white blouse. Black gloves hugged his hands. She could just see the peek of a lavender vest from his position. In one hand he carried that crop.

"Mr… King…" Jeri said slowly.

He turned his brilliant smile on her. "Yes?"

There was some confusion backstage, a man walking. Sarah thought she saw Mr. Pearson tearing at his head. She smiled. It served him right. She turned back to Jeri. "Ms. Spencer, may I present Jareth King, the father of my baby."

Ooohs and aaahs chorused.

"Wait a minute!" Jareth said, standing up, looming over her. "Is that what this is about? I'm out of here," he raised his arm, preparing to magic himself out of the studio, but a hand settled on it before he had the chance. He turned to look at Jeri Spencer. "What do you want?"

"Mr. King, please, just hear us out." She looked toward her audience. "They need to hear your side of this story."

After a time, he nodded. Grudgingly.

"Okay, Mr. King, let's hear your side of the story."

"My side?" He asked. "Well, Sarah and I just.. clicked, you know?"

Jeri nodded. "So you began to date?"

"We never dated!" Sarah interrupted. "If we're going to talk about this, lets get it right. We never dated. We never went anywhere! He would just show up and expect sex."

"Oh please, like you weren't the one pulling me down into the bed!" Jareth said. "We never had a chance to go out, and that's the truth!"

Sarah turned in her chair. He was so infuriating! "Like you'd take me out if I asked you to!"

He reared back. "I offered to take you plenty of places."

"You offered to take me to the Bog one day, when you were mad," she fired back at him.

He sniffed. "The Bog is very nice this time of year."

Incredulous, Sarah snorted. "It's the Bog of Stench, idiot!" She turned to Jeri. "See how he is? I wanted to go to Vegas, New York … anywhere!"

"He refused to take you?" Jeri asked sympathetically.

"He couldn't afford to, but I offered to pay anyway. He still said no!"

"Sarah, my kingdom is very large. I can't just leave it!"

"You certainly leave it often enough to come visit me," she countered. The audience whistled appreciatively.

"A question?" Jeri asked, waving the microphone around. She chose a large woman, who stood, chins and dimpled elbows quivering.

"She said you can't afford to take her out. Do you have a job?"

"Ma'am," Jareth said icily. "I am a King."

"Yeah, yeah, but do you have a job?" She persisted.

"He doesn't get paid," Sarah interjected.

The crowd, as one, murmured.

"So she supports you?" Jeri asked.

"I pay every time we get a movie, every time we eat. Every time we need money, I'm the one who has to handle it. He is so poor, I doubt he has ever seen a twenty dollar bill In His Life."

"Now, Ms. Williams, there is no need to resort to meanness. We're here to discuss your pregnancy, not Mr. King's financial status." Jeri cautioned.

"Oh please," Jareth said, tossing a falling lock of hair back to its proper position.

"Did you say something?" Sarah asked, smiling with false sweetness. She turned to Jeri, instantly adopting an injured look. "Jeri, it's terrible. I found out I was pregnant two months ago, and I told him."

"Whoa!" Jareth interrupted. "You did nothing of the sort. It was ONE month ago that you told me that you were pregnant, not two! You're such a liar!"

"Me a liar!" She pointed at herself mockingly. "Please." She flipped her hair again, casting the dark brown mass out of her eyes. "Okay, so maybe I waited a while before I told him. Do you blame me? He always told me that there was absolutely no way that we could make a kid."

Jeri's face melted into a mask of sympathy. "How did he react to the news?"

"Terribly," Sarah said, ignoring Jareth's frown. "He ranted and raved. He broke every single window in my trailer. Of course, he fixed them afterwards, but…"

"How was I supposed to act? You telling me you're pregnant. What a Lie!" He threw in, mouth twisting.

The man seated next to Jareth, the previous guest, Barry Halloway, leaned over to whisper to him. "Dude, they did tests!"

Jareth froze, eyes chilling. He bared his teeth. "Oh really." He looked at Sarah.

"Sarah is pregnant," Jeri assured him.

The temperature in the room fell ten degrees. Jareth leaned back in his seat, crop tapping on the leg of the chair. "I do not share." He said softly. Sarah shivered at the tone.

"What are you talking about?" She asked. Her voice quavered.

"Who was it?" He asked.

"Who was what?" Sarah asked, shrinking back into her seat.

Jeri stepped forward, opening her mouth. Jareth turned to her, roaring. "You will not interfere!" Jeri Spencer was encased in a bubble, frozen, eyes wide and vacant. A small crystal appeared in his hand. Sarah, feeling her throat tight with tears that she was Not going to shed, looked at it apprehensively.

"Tell me now, Sarah," he instructed, turning the crystal this way and that in his hands. "You know I will find the truth."

"You know the truth. I told you," she screamed at him. "We're going to have a baby."

Jareth's hand stilled, and Sarah could see a murky whiteness forming in it. "Wrong answer." He focused on the crystal.

Sarah jumped to her feet, running at the audience. "Do something," she cried, and then yelped as she slammed into an invisible barrier. She fell to the ground, curling in on herself, one hand going to her belly in a protective gesture.

"They won't help you," Jareth said. Most of his attention was clearly still on the bubble in his hand. She wondered what he was seeing, and how the magic worked. She wasn't scared - there was nothing for him to find, and she told him that.

He didn't answer her. The white swirled, and a light sweat broke on Jareth's forehead. "Nothing," he muttered. "How can there be nothing." He searched more, anger transforming his face into a mask of rage. He glared at her, holding her eyes, and flung the crystal against the barrier right above her head. Sarah winced, squinching her eyes tightly shut.

His laughter, loud and mocking, echoed in the quiet studio. "Baby," he mouthed when she opened her eyes.

"You are such a bastard." She said, getting to her feet.

"Whatever," he said, waving negligently, eyes intent. "Now, what do you say you tell me who this man is, hm?" His tone was less than pleasant.

Sarah glared at him. "Fine. Don't believe me. Just get out of my life!" She yelled, waving her arms.

"I will!" He shouted, hands on his hips, face thrust into hers.

"Good!" She screamed. "And don't come crying to me when you realize that this is your kid!" Tears started to fall, dribbling down her cheeks. She scrubbed at them with her fist.

He looked at her, regal and dangerous. His pale eyes were narrowed and angry. "Don't hold your breath." His black-gloved hand came up, and he was gone.

Sarah, sobbing, collapsed on the stage floor. Around her, Jeri and the audience started moving, everyone confused. Muscled guards charged out into the studio, prepared to bring the now-gone guest under control.

Jeri Spencer turned to face the camera that was inches from her face. "I… We'll go to commercial now," she stammered out. The blinking red light held on her face for a second longer, then turned to Sarah, who fought back the tears long enough to wave.

"And we're clear."

  
  


"I'm truly sorry, Ms. Williams." Jeri Spencer said. "I really do this show to help people understand each other, to help people conquer their differences and have a happy life together. I'm sorry that I couldn't do that for you."

Sarah wiped the tears out of her eyes. "That's okay, Ms. Spencer." She took the hand the woman held out and shook it. "I really enjoyed being on the show." She sniffed. "We'll be all right," she assured the woman, rubbing her belly.

Jeri smiled. "I'm sure that you will."

Sarah didn't look back as she climbed into the car that would take her to the airport, where she would meet her plane.

  
  


Home. The two bedroom trailer that she shared with Angelique. She wouldn't have thought that she could be so happy to see it. She carried her suitcase into her room then flopped down on the bed face first. She didn't notice when the world faded and she fell asleep.

"Sarah." The voice again. Loud, rude, demanding and uncompromisingly male. Jareth. There was a flick, a slight slap. That crop. Again. "Sarah, wake up," he commanded.

"I'm awake," she muttered, lifting her head from the mattress. She brushed the mahogany strands of hair out of her face. "What are you doing here?" She asked, glaring at the King.

"You didn't really think that I'd leave it at that, did you?" He asked. "You'd have me on the Jeri Spencer show and then I'd just quietly disappear from your life? I don't think so." He sat on the edge of her bed, tapping the end of the crop against the soft leather of his boot. "So, you're really pregnant?" He asked.

Sarah reared up, getting to her knees, then sitting back. She hugged her knees to her chest. "Look, I've been telling you for two months now about this," she reminded him.

He shifted, bringing himself closer to her. "I guess I haven't been listening," he said quietly.

She cuddled closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, leaning into him. "I'm scared," she admitted.

"That's okay," he rubbed her shoulders as she began to cry.

"What am I going to do?" She sobbed.

He shushed her, taking her mouth in a kiss. His hand slid up, cupping her chin. His tongue swept in, stealing her breath. He twisted away, laughing, panting. "I love you," he murmured.

She smiled, joy welling up inside of her. "I love you too." She said shyly.

He held her. "I'll take care of you," he said, speaking more gently than she had ever heard him before.

She looked up at him, taking in the pale blue eyes, full of love and caring. "It is your baby." She told him, willing him to believe her.

He looked at her, looked deep into her eyes, and slowly, his own filled with wonder. "How can this be?" He whispered.

"I don't know, but… I love it already." She nestled close to him. "It is your heir, King of the Goblins."

"An heir," he mused, standing up, pacing around the room. He swept a hand through his hair, fluffing the spiky points that stood over his head. "I never thought that I would have an heir," he said slowly. He twisted, coming toward her, sweeping her into his arms, a huge smile on his face. "My love," he whispered, crushing his mouth against hers again.

He set her on her feet, never releasing the touch of her lips. One arm crept down, sliding down her breasts and settling on her abdomen. "Ours," he whispered against her mouth, pressing her body against his own. "Forever."

With a rush of magic, they disappeared.

THE END


End file.
